To the christian community:
At first I was scared that you would react angrily and violently against my personal struggles. But when I shared them with you, I was greeted with warmth and acceptance. I liked that at first. But I slowly learned that the acceptance was, for the most part, fueled by apathy. You have said on numerous occasions that my sin is like a disease, and that is why you still love me. But when someone you love is sick, you go and visit them to make sure they’re doing okay. You’re not afraid to hug them. You spend as much time as you can with them because you fear that the disease might get the better of them.
To the gay community:
You told me that you were accepting of everyone. You said that I had a right to do whatever I wanted with my life. Then I told you that I wanted to fight my sexual orientation. With a confused look and a discontented sigh, you withdrew from me even further than the people at church. The only time I ever see you anymore is when you rise up to mock the faith I that gives me hope. I understand that you have been hurt, but you use that hurt to fuel a hatred that tears everyone down, whether they are on your side or not. You have become so focused on winning political battles that you have begun to inflict the same deep hurts that make people like me want to end everything.
To my friends:
Your hugs made me feel safe. The conversations we had made me feel loved. Don’t feel like you weren’t enough to keep me here. It wasn’t your fault. By the time I met you, I was already too far gone.
Good bye.
