Category: The Void of Men


   To the christian community:

   At first I was scared that you would react angrily and violently against my personal struggles. But when I shared them with you, I was greeted with warmth and acceptance. I liked that at first. But I slowly learned that the acceptance was, for the most part, fueled by apathy. You have said on numerous occasions that my sin is like a disease, and that is why you still love me. But when someone you love is sick, you go and visit them to make sure they’re doing okay. You’re not afraid to hug them. You spend as much time as you can with them because you fear that the disease might get the better of them.

   To the gay community:

   You told me that you were accepting of everyone. You said that I had a right to do whatever I wanted with my life. Then I told you that I wanted to fight my sexual orientation. With a confused look and a discontented sigh, you withdrew from me even further than the people at church. The only time I ever see you anymore is when you rise up to mock the faith I that gives me hope. I understand that you have been hurt, but you use that hurt to fuel a hatred that tears everyone down, whether they are on your side or not. You have become so focused on winning political battles that you have begun to inflict the same deep hurts that make people like me want to end everything.

   To my friends:

   Your hugs made me feel safe. The conversations we had made me feel loved. Don’t feel like you weren’t enough to keep me here. It wasn’t your fault. By the time I met you, I was already too far gone.

   Good bye.

   I love my habits. They are the imaginary guidelines that my imaginary father has set forth for me. If I stray too far from my daily routine, I will get scared and stressed out. Which unfortunately happens a lot.

   When Subway runs out of meatballs . . . momentary flash of fear as I try to figure out what to order now.

   When a professor changes the format in which homework is due . . . indignation as I mentally prepare myself for this new system.

   When the person who always sits in the same study room as me in not there . . . instant depression as I feel like they might not like sitting in the same room as me.

   I cling to my habits like my life depended on them, but there is one thing that can make me let go of them right away. There have been two cases in my life where I’ve stopped biting my nails. Both involved me meeting someone I loved. I stopped because I knew that those people wouldn’t like me biting my nails. But then they moved away and I started again. Same thing happened at Subway. I’d always get American cheese until someone I really cared about forced me to get Pepper Jack because “Pepper Jack Cheese is the best kind of cheese.” Now I always get Pepper Jack cheese.

   You too can be like the Pepper Jack Cheese guy. Because if there’s one habit that I can’t break, it’s the habit of loving things that people that love me love. Now read that last sentence over again. I promise it makes sense.

   To start things off, I just want to say that some of my best friends are homosexually gay. This post includes them, but it is directed more toward my heterosexually gay friends.

   You’re probably thinking, “What in the world do you mean by heterosexually gay?!!”

   Well, in the previous phrase, the word gay does not describe a sexual orientation. It describes the way certain people behave around members of the same sex. For example, if you’re a guy and you’re comfortable enough around your friends that you regularly “Qaddifi” each other, then I would call that gay. But it would not reflect your sexual preference at all. Well, to me at least.

   So, using our new definition of “gay,” I am unashamed to say that I love living in an environment where everyone is super gay. Around gay friends, there is nothing awkward about hugging or saying “I love you” or . . . dare I say . . . spooning. You know for a fact that when you’re around gay friends you can be yourself and talk about what’s on your mind without having to worry about being viewed as weird. And conversations can and will end in a hug.

   You may or may not be thinking, “This guy probably has a weird obsession with hugs cause he was neglected and unloved as a child.”

   You may or may not be right. But I stand by the title of this post. Gay friends are the best friends. And they’re the only ones I’ll really open up to.

   I have to confess . . . for a long while now, I’ve had this secret desire for the internet to stop functioning altogether. It would mean the death of this blog, facebook, and everything else. But it would mean that so many other things would have new life.

   Face-to-face conversations with the people who love you, hugs, building things . . . they would all experience a brand new resurgence. And those are all the things I’ve ever really wanted. I see the internet like the ring in the Lord of the Rings, and it has extended its evil power over everyone. And if I could ever hold the internet in my hand, I would be willing to risk death and pain to destroy it in Mount Doom or whatever place would be powerful enough to destroy the internet.

   But for now, the internet exists, and I see no way of getting rid of it anytime soon. So I will try to keep using it to promote the good things I’ve always loved.

   Sometimes in the winter, it is midnight and even though I’m tired and I have a lot of work to do, all the emotional things I struggle with keep me from thinking straight. Then, I’ll go out into the dark and cold and run as fast as I can through the woods. And whenever I’m running during these times, this is always the song that blasts its way through my head.

 

   Many stories has a moment where the main character has no real clue exactly where he will go or what he will do next, but he has trust that everything will work out. I feel like that a lot in real life. And this song is always a reminder that there’s always God or someone who knows the way, even when I have no clue what I’m doing.

Deadly Quiet Time

   People like to emphasize daily quiet time with God. It might sound kind of boring at first, but then they start talking about some awesome experience they had when they went out to a cabin in the woods by themselves and sat by a creek with the birds chirping and the water running over their bare feet. And of course they were praying the whole time, and God met them there and showed them some incredible thing they needed to do or change about their life. It sounds super awesome, and if I was one of those people, I would take every chance I had to remind you to have that daily quiet time with God (even if it has to be in a plain, boring room in your house).

   However, I’m not one of those people. And I’m not proud of it. I’ve had a few experiences with nature by myself with the cabin and the water and everything. But I never get to that ‘God’ moment that seems to be the climax of quiet time. I get to a very different type of moment.

   When I am by myself with God for an extended period of time, I start like normal, praying for everyone I know who’s in need of help. But then I think of everything that’s wrong with my life, and how I have no clue how to fix it. For a few moments, I’m filled with hope because I’m showing God all my failures and admitting my faults and asking Him to fix everything.  But then my mind kicks in and turns on my doubt, and somehow during the time I’m supposed to be closest to God, the devil comes in and messes with me. So then I stop the quiet time and try to talk to someone who’s a Christian and feel better.

   If this doesn’t happen to you, then GO HAVE QUIET TIME NOW!

   But if it does happen to you, then what do you do to combat it?

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